Welcome!

Hi everyone!
My friends have been taking pity on me recently in a "what the hell are you doing with your life" sort of way.  But beyond just the usual criticisms and accusations, these are real friends: they were actually proactive and took it upon themselves to solve my professional challenges.

So they came up with this fantastic idea that I should wear diapers and blog about not going to a real bathroom for a whole year.

But I didn't really feel like doing that, plus it's not ecologically friendly and my brother would disapprove.

But today - a stroke of serendipitous genius led to the creation of this blog! Yes, one social faux-pas a day, where every day, I will post how I fucked something social up. Often I'll do this more than once a day, but that's great because I can store 'em up and bank them for the days I just sleep all day. Or maybe that counts as a social faux-pas?

So today's entry is all about this hot girl I haven't met called Jo-Babe (names have been modified to protect identity of bearers). See, my friend Laura told me about this great super-hot single friend of hers that she wanted to hang out with (which I interpreted as introduce me to so of course got all excited). Maybe too excited.

You see - tonight is all-you-can-eat mussel's night (yes it was MY idea, thank you.)

But what happened, when good old Sue asked me whether I'd grace the group with my attendance?

Behold: the First Social Faux-Pas Thread in History (of this blog):

Sue wrote:  Zingers, tu y seras? 
Without you, we reschedule!
Sue

I wrote:  Oh, the pressure!
All you can eat mussels?  YOU BET I'm in!
We were thinking of trying to show up a bit earlier ('round 8pm) but looks like they're open until 11pm so should be ok.
Shall I make reservations?
So far we're Ericson(&Roya?), Jingers&Laura, Sue&Parkins, Vicky&Me (see what I did there?) = 8 people!  Laura is your hot single friend coming?  Oh!  Hi Jo-Babe!  Didn't see you there.
-Zingers on not enough sleep

Laura wrote: 8:00pm start time is fine (Vicky and I will be a bit late - but that way you can start without us!).  For the  record the website says that they serve til 11pm... 
See everyone tonight at Coasters!  I beleive there are 8 of us in (me, Parkins, Sue, Vicky, Jingers, Zingers, Ericson, Roya). 
Laura

I wrote: What?  No Jo-Babe?  (That's it! That's all! Just ... a note of genuine concern for an unknown friend's lack of attendance. I just didn't want Jo-Babe not to have any mussels. Because like I say, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.  But seems like my cold-hearted friends don't agree!)

Laura wrote: Nope - she's got plans with a friend. 
Rossitron has Jiu Jitsu til 10 so he can't make it either.  
Laura 

(But in private, she sent me something of an anger which I dare not reproduce. Oh.  It was nasty. That's when I began to suspect - oh no. Have I committed a social faux-pas already?  It wasn't even noon!)

Ericson wrote: Who's the friend?
I'm thinking she'd have a better time with Zingers.
Can you get her to cancel?

See - what I love about Ericson is - I can always count on him to join me on faux-pas.  He's quite the master of faux-pas himself.  In fact - he should be writing this blog, his stories are far more entertaining than mine.  Like this one time, I think he had sex with three women in his house, one in the closet, one in the bathroom, and another in the living room - and nobody had any idea.  Ok that's not so much faux-pas as it is pure genius.  I guess sometimes we get lucky.  But seriously folks. Sometimes he fucks up too.  That's why I can count on him to back me up on my faux-pas.  He understands.  He knows how it is.

I wrote: Thanks Ericson.
To be honest, I think so too.
But I might have scared her already.  (I actually got an order to decease and desist.)
So ix-nay on the more ai-boshing-kay.


By the way, Jingers, I know it's supposed to be "cease and desist", it's an inside joke because Laura actually did want me to decease i.e. die and desist.

Jo-babe finally responds: haha...I just got all the emails at once. Sorry to disappoint. I'll try my best to make it out to the next gathering. Sounds like it would be tons of fun!

VINDICATED!  I write, conclusively:
See!  I told you!  Nothing to worry about, she loves me already.

Well there you have it!  My first social faux-pas blog entry.  Which isn't even a faux-pas because she totally, clearly digs me, despite my friends' ill-based concerns.

Stay tuned for more!  I'm good at this shit yo.

I've finally found my life calling.

So when exactly do I get rich from a book deal?